AUSFAHRT, STAGE LEFT….

                Ausfahrt is my new favorite word.  Pronounced “ass-fart,” it simply means exit, so you see it when driving on the autobahn constantly. I am actually writing this from the front passenger seat of our new Mercedes Sprinter heading to Berlin from Eppstein. I didn’t realize I was on the autobahn at first.  I fell asleep when we got on the highway and woke up when a car went by us so fast that you could feel the Sprinter move in its wake.  Our van is comfortable, but certainly not the car I’d like to be experiencing the autobahn in. I keep enviously watching the fast lane as Audi, BMW, and Mercedes sports cars go flying by us.  I’ll take what I can get though. I think most Americans grow up revering this “autobahn” as a no-holds-barred, Mad Max style, crazy German speedway. It’s not. It’s just the regular old highway with no speed limit signs posted and the occasional Ausfahrt.  A lot has happened since I last wrote on Wednesday evening. We met our tour manager, left Frankfurt, and played our first show.

                Wednesday night after we left the Irish pub, we went exploring a little and asked for a good bar to go to. We were directed to an “American style” bar called MeatPackers.  It was essentially Appleby’s. I went back to the hotel and tried to sleep. I couldn’t. Maybe it was the jetlag or the fact that I had slept for thirteen hours the night before, or a combination of both. It was kind of refreshing though. Everyone knows I tend to spread myself kind of thin and as a result I have the ability to sleep anywhere at a moments notice usually. A mild form of narcolepsy I guess.  I tried to remember the last time I had real trouble sleeping and I couldn’t. I got up and went to the community computer. After a while, a well dressed German came up and spoke to me (keep in mind that it’s four in the morning). After realizing I spoke English he pointed to facebook and asked “You search girls?” “No, just keeping up with friends back in America.” He then said something in German, looked me up and down, and said “you search boys?” “Hahaha. No boys” I said. He then went away.  Note to self: Don’t wear your short running shorts to the hotel lobby late at night.

                I finally fell asleep at some point and woke up very early.   I took a coffee spoon from the room and stuck it into the pocket of my hoodie before wandering into the streets to find food, hopefully yogurt.  All the markets I had previously been to were closed and there were very few people on the street. Apparently it’s a holiday here so everything (even Starbucks) was closed. I finally found some yogurt at a shop in the subway.  I figured that if the trains were still running there would at least be one convenience store open. I then went back to bed and slept in late. Whit and I went for a walk down by the river and saw lots of German police breaking up some hippie protests. Ryan and I had seen something similar the night before.  I’m not sure if it was Occupy Frankfurt or what but the police weren’t having it. The police were literally disbanding a drum circle. I wish the police would do that at music festivals here. Nothing infuriates me more than a hippie drum circle. 

                At one o’clock we were finally picked up by Marco, our Italian tour manager.  I like him a lot. He is friendly and easy to get along with. He is my height, but really slender. He has a shaved head with some righteous mutton chops and giant sunglasses. Kind of like the Dj Moby if he was into punk music.  He wears really tight clothes and has a denim jacket with a home made patch across the back made from a band t-shirt. It has the bands name (Big Black) with a picture of a power drill and various sex toy attachments for it.  We immediately decide we will get along with this man.

                We make the thirty minute drive to Eppstein which is a beautiful German town that looks so stereotypically German that it’s almost comical.  I really liked it.  The only hotel in town is some rooms above a tavern. The set up was similar to that in Frankfurt. It had small rooms and smaller beds, but definitely comfy.  Oh yeah, and it was next to a fucking castle!  We grabbed lunch at a Greek place and got the best Gyro I’ve ever had.  They are called doners here.  Apparently we will be eating lots of them which is fine with me. They are all over Europe and are really cheap. The pita was different than I’m used to though. It had a crispy exterior much more like ciabatta bread than a pita. After lunch we explored the castle which was quite busy. Apparently they were hosting some sort of medieval torture festival. The only thing torturous though was the German cover band that they had playing. It was three old Germans playing HORRIBLE stuff. It was like a bad Will Ferrell skit. They played “I had the time of my life” from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack for the love of god!  I laughed really hard at them while we wandered around and I took lots of bad touristy-type pictures. 

                The place we were playing was walking distance from the hotel. It was a small restaurant/listening room with a decent stage. The owner, a very friendly German man named Ralph and his girlfriend/bartender took very good care of us. From the moment we got there they were very excited and had lots of questions about how the trip had been and what was on the setlist for the evening.  He has liked us for quite a while and has been playing our cds constantly since he found our music on a trip to Texas several years ago.  He is very much into Texas country and Americana music.  They also were very enthusiastically giving us all sorts of new beer to try.  Good local pilsners and ales. Some other stuff I haven’t tried too.  He also seemed very concerned about the plight of Native Americans in the states, oddly enough.  This made me laugh, but not to his face.  I’m still too intimidated by the German accent to start talking any shit.

We unloaded our rented gear and started dragging it upstairs. At this point I was definitely regretting ordering such heavy equipment. As we were setting up and sound checking, we realized that every table had reservations on it. When it was time to go on the whole room was packed. Now, it’s not a big room, but every single seat was gone and people were standing in every available spot.  It was a great feeling. They loved us and were very much aware of who we were. Some had known about us for quite a while and others looked us up when the heard an American band was coming and only knew a few songs. They were great. So attentive! Oh yeah, and this crowd was OLD. The average age was probably forty. I’m not complaining. They were stuck around the whole 2+ hours and bought tons of merchandise so old people are OK in my book.  We actually didn’t have to play for so long but they kept calling us back onstage! Afterwards, we stayed and talked with everyone and continued to drink. The, Marco and I drank some Sambuca with espresso beans in it. I ate the espresso beans before I was told not to. I won’t be making that mistake again.  We walked back to our hotel and crashed for the night. It was early, maybe midnight.

                I woke up the next day and couldn’t find a suitable trail to run on (narrow cobblestone streets make running hard) so I broke out my jump rope and just did that.  It’s an odd feeling listening to Jay Z and Kanye’s H.A.M. (Mom, that stands for hard as a motherfucker….don’t ask) while jumping rope in the shadow of a castle. After showering and packing up we went back to the venue because here in Europe everywhere feeds you dinner and many places even feed you breakfast! It was a good one too. Eggs, crusty bread and butter, cured meats and cheeses, fruit, cappuccino… I was in heaven. The owner ate with us while wearing his American Aquarium shirt. He was very pleased with last nights turnout and so were we.  It was nice to be so far from home and meet people who are so passionate about what we are doing.  It was a great first night that will be hard to top.

                So, now we are off to Berlin on the autobahn. Marco tells us tonights show is very much a typical rock club. I am eager to see it. I like loud rock halls much better than listening rooms typically.  The owner also feeds us at his Tiki bar next store. Seems like an odd combo, but we will see how it goes.  That’s it for now. We are almost at our Ausfahrt!

May 18^th (4:30p.m.) Berlin